Vanilla
by AbnormallyWeirdPerson
Summary: Sora, I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you start avoiding me like the plague. I'd like to sort things out with you and learn where we stand. Meet me at the park tonight. I'll be waiting. [RikuSora]


**Disclaimer:** I hereby do not claim to own anything relating to Kingdom Hearts (except this fan fiction plot shown here).

It's been way too long since I wrote a oneshot. So here ya go. Hope you enjoy. :)

**Warnings:** boy love (if you couldn't already guess), multiple flashbacks, iffy past/present tense in some places (I couldn't find anything, but I might've missed something), and possible OOCness (though I tried)

* * *

It's begun raining. I'm under a tree, but wet droplets still slip through the leaves to speckle my body with water. Everyone's leaving the park now. Well, technically, I suppose the park started emptying out about an hour ago when the storm clouds were gathering and rumbling in the distance. That was about eight o'clock—two hours before he might meet me. I knew he wouldn't get off work until nine thirty, so I asked him to meet me at ten. 

I think he enjoys working at the grocery store. He doesn't have to dress formally, and he can brighten everyone's day just by smiling at them. I think that's the part he likes best—he's always liked helping people.

And, I suppose, working with food and getting a discount is a bonus for him, too.

I glance up just as a bolt flashes across the sky. The sky's gotten awfully dimmer. Dark, ominous clouds release their weight upon the world as thunder grumbles throughout. It's not a downpour yet, but that could easily change in another hour.

Another hour... that's when I asked him to meet me. I was so nervous I even came down two hours before I asked him to show. I know this isn't like me—really, it's not like me at all. Usually, when I like someone, they fall right into my arms after five words. Sometimes they'll be a challenge and take seven words.

My reputation as a player has diminished ever since I met him though. Not only did he refuse me several times, but I haven't slept with anyone in over several months! One would think that'd tell him for sure that I was serious about him. He doesn't believe me though. He never does.

-

_"Hey, Sora!" I greeted, draping an arm around his shoulder and sliding it down his arm to possibly slip onto his waist, but..._

_He jerked away, sending a glare to me with those stunning blue eyes of his above those pinking cheeks._

_"Back off, Riku! I told you, if—"_

_I cut him off as I rolled my eyes, finishing his sentence for him, "—I want a whore, there are plenty on the streets downtown. I know."_

_Giving me a "hmph," he asked, "Then what do you want from me?"_

_A sigh flew from my lips. We were walking along the sidewalk between the student center and the rec building now. The dorms would be coming up soon, but I knew I had a snowball's chance in hell of getting Sora to hang out with me in mine._

_It was nice outside today. The sky was a lovely shade of blue with a few clouds looking as though they'd been whipped up from God's hand last minute. Autumn hadn't hit the campus hard yet—the trees' leaves were plenty green and the grass looked as fresh as it had when I'd left for summer break last year. _

_Finally deciding to answer Sora, I said, "You know what I want."_

_He just gave me a frustrated scowl, shaking his spiky mess of chocolate hair._

_I responded with a look of utter seriousness, saying, "I told you, I won't throw you away after we fuck. I honest-to-God like you! Why can't you just try a relationship with me?"_

_Sora's face proclaimed a dull expression as he counted off, "Let me count the ways... One, you don't do relationships—you sleep around. Two, the last time you were in a "relationship," you cheated a number of times before she finally kicked you out of her life. Three, I have my own personal insecurities (__which you don't need to know about)__. Four, you smoke. Five... Well, how about I bring it all together for you? __**I don't trust you**__."_

-

That was about two months ago. I guess you could say our relationship has changed a little since then. Now, instead of at least giving me a chance to talk, he outright ignores me. I don't even know why. I didn't do anything to him _or_ his friends. He just... got sick of me or something, I guess.

The thought makes me really sad when I think about it. The first week of ignoring had to be the worst of my life so far. Whenever our eyes got caught in the others', he'd look away quickly; whenever I tried to talk to him, he'd tell me to leave him alone, and whenever I called his cell, he'd never answer. I remember I actually cried at one point during that week. That was the first time I'd cried in a long time.

-

_Class had just ended. My things had been in my bag for the last ten minutes, eagerly waiting for this required history session to come to a close. Sora was in this class, too—one of the few classes we actually had together. He sat up front while I lounged in the back. Generally, I found him more interesting than the professor. Sometimes his best friend, Kairi, would pass notes back and forth with him, and he was constantly shifting positions in the seat. _

_Now, though, now I was rushing to the door to catch up with him. I called his name loudly to gain his attention in the crowd. Hell, I even called Kairi's name at one point to get his attention. Most of the students had disappeared from the hallway we traveled through when I finally caught up with him._

_"Sora, are you deaf? I've been yelling for you for the last ten minutes," I teased, expecting him to return it like he used to. Sure, he'd avoided me for the last two days, but he wouldn't try that when I was right next to him, right?_

_My expectations were dashed as he—not even looking up—replied coolly, "I heard you."_

_That was it. No explanation of why he hadn't answered me or anything._

_Kairi looked a little uncomfortable on the other side of him. She remained quiet the whole time, letting her purple hair (she'd dyed it recently) fall in a curtain on the side of her face—as if shielding herself from something unpleasant._

_After a moment of confused blinking, I tried again, saying, "Well, I saw your basketball game the other night—you're really their star, aren't yo—"_

_"Riku, just leave me alone," he said curtly, effectively cutting me off._

_"Huh? But I—"_

_"I said just leave me alone!" he yelled, breaking into a run, leaving us behind._

_"Sora!" Kairi cried. She sent me an apologetic look before dashing off after him._

_Shock coursed through me. No matter how much Sora said he didn't like me, I'd never felt this rejected before. I went numb as I continued heading outside. People and landmarks passed in a blur. I didn't even realize I was outside until the sun's rays hit me hard, burning my pale skin. _

_I'm not sure if it was intentional or not, but I went around the side of the building. Dropping against the wall, I collapsed to the ground, resting my arms on my propped-up knees. My head landed on the brick wall then, silver strands of my hair catching on the small ridges and grooves in the red rocks. _

_Something painful clenched my chest, choking my breath while something wet trickled down my cheeks and along my nose to my lips, my jaw, falling only to stain the fabric of my black t-shirt. It hurt. Vaguely, in the back of my mind, I wondered if this was what some of my past flings had felt when they realized I truly held no feelings toward them. _

_Fumbling in my pocket, I brought out my pack of cigarettes and clumsily lit one. The sobs got in the way as I tried to take a drag from it though. I cried, smoked, and felt a flurry of emotions I hadn't felt in a long time._

_Afterwards, I continued sitting there, completely empty. I'd cried my tears for him and in doing so, had poured out my emotions to the sky so that I had none left to give. The breeze struck my face, drying the damp paths as I sat there. I just took out another cigarette—determined to make the pain and thoughts of him just go away._

-

I chuckled bitterly at that memory. Things came and went, but Sora would never leave my mind. I don't even know why. He's not _that_ attractive—cute, yes, but there are people around here better-looking than him. His grades aren't the best either—he'd die if he went to medical school or something. And even if he's one of the best on the basketball team now, he'll only be replaced in a few years. Just what do I see in him, anyway?

...Aw, hell, I don't even know why I bothered asking myself that question. I _know_ what I see in him—it's the same that everyone else sees. No one could miss his optimistic, generous, selfless, endearing self. And I don't know why, but for some reason... I got pulled in by him worse than any one else. Everyone else is content to just have him as a great friend, but me? No, I had to try to make it something more for reasons... for reasons I don't even understand myself, really.

I mean, he's the perfect best friend when one thinks about it. Kind, silly, outgoing, easy on the eyes, and, and I can just tell that once one becomes his friend, it's for life. And he'll always be there for them.

Pulling my black, leather coat's sleeve out of the way, I note that he should be here any minute now if he decided to show. I hope he does. If he doesn't, I don't really know what I'll do. I could avoid him—go to parties and get drunk in attempts to forget him, but that'd never work. I know that. Besides, parties just don't hold the same attraction for me like they used to.

Come to think of it, I'm not even so sure what that attraction was to start with. Thinking back... it was probably to make friends. I'm not that good with people when I'm sober. Sure, I can read most people fairly well and tell them all the things they want to hear if I want; it's just never genuine. And Sora somehow caught onto that. He's not too sharp otherwise, but he has his moments. I'll bet it's instinct more than anything—"impulsive" definitely describes him.

The rain has gotten heavier, drops slapping the pavement. It seems as if the world is thoroughly drenched. Everything is duller as if washed in dark gray tones. Glancing up and down the street, I'm discouraged to find no one is under the pale light of the streetlights. I wonder if Sora would ever come to meet me in this weather—he knows it's me for sure. Kairi had to give him my letter for me though. I left the room before I could see his reaction to reading it. I remember the exact words I wrote for him.

_Sora,_

_I'm sorry for whatever I did that made you start avoiding me like the plague. I'd like to sort things out with you and learn where we stand. Meet me in the park on 3__rd__ St. at 10:00 P.M., Thursday. If that doesn't work for you and if you don't mind talking things out with me, let me know via Kairi or text message or something._

_Hoping you'll show,_

_Riku_

I don't know why my letter is memorized in my head—maybe so that I know I got the right address or something? I don't know... All I do know is that Kairi never talked to me and I never received a text message from him, so it's all dependent on whether he decides to come.

The loud snapping sound from the rain meeting the hard ground brings me out of my thoughts. Well, what do you know, my prediction about a downpour falling on this town was right after all. Admittedly, I said it'd be at ten o'clock and it is now... Checking my watch again, I found it was twenty after. My spirits shrank at the fact.

Pulling up different scenarios, my mind tries to convince me that he is just late (_he's always been a punctual student_), that traffic must be bad (_he doesn't drive_), that he's waiting for the rain to let up (_snow or shine, he's always come through before_), that his mom called and wouldn't hang up (_he'd tell her to call back later if he wanted to come_), that maybe a friend got in an accident (_one of my friends would call me right away to let me know_), or maybe...

Maybe he isn't coming.

I've been getting my hopes up all night—heck, all _day—_to face someone that wasn't going to show.

Great.

A bitter grin tugs at my lips when I realize I might start to cry again. Wonderful. Another batch of tears shed for Sora—the pure, innocent angel that never meant to harm anyone.

The nasty voice in the back of my head whispers maliciously, _But if he never meant to hurt you, he'd at least meet you, wouldn't he? He wouldn't ignore and avoid you like he has been—he'd fake it all just for you, just to make another person in the world happier—that's the kind of person he is. You know that. So why hasn't he shown? Poor Riku... left out in the rain with no one to care for him again..._

My eyes burn and blur at the voice's words. I shout in my head, _I wasn't left out in the rain! My dad was just... was just late... He didn't mean anything by it—he loves me!_

The voice laughs, conjuring up the memory for me to see as it hisses, _Take another look, Riku... You know that, at least at that time, he never loved you..._

-

_I was eight years old. It was summer, and like all boys at that age, I was on the baseball team. The other kids had left a while ago. Coach asked if I wanted a ride home, but I insisted my dad was coming for me—I'd be fine. He was about an hour late when everyone had gone. Looking at the clock again, I realized it'd now been two. I only felt more lonely and more abandoned as the minutes ticked by. _

_Some tears had already been shed, wondering if he was coming at all. No one would've been able to tell though that I'd been crying a bit. The drizzling rain had already disguised it._

_Finally, he pulled up by the road in a red car—I don't remember what kind. He'd traded it again long ago. Relief flooded me as I bounded towards the car door and gratefully clambered inside to the warm, dry atmosphere. Details are vague, but I remember he gave me a passive glance before rolling down the road, saying something about stuff at the office piling up, how he had a meeting—stuff my eight-year-old brain couldn't quite comprehend in—in an entirely casual voice._

_All that really stuck out was the cold realization of knowing that he wasn't sorry he was late, wasn't sorry I'd been alone in the rain for two hours, wasn't sorry about anything... and wouldn't hesitate to do it again._

_I caught a cold the next day._

-

But that was before the fiasco with the law. That was before he got caught dealing drugs for extra cash. After that, he came to realize how much he loved my mom and I. At least, that's what he said and still says. Both my eleven year-old and present brain believe him—we don't want to believe otherwise. That'd be too painful.

Sighing, I dig in my pocket for a smoke, finding nothing except my cell phone, wallet, and some pocket lint. Oh yeah, that's right, I gave up smoking for Sora. All because he can't stand the smell.

-

_"Well, I'm gonna go satisfy my nicotine addiction," I announced, getting up from the round lunch table. Some people waved their hands in acknowledgment while others nodded in recognition. Sora, on the other hand, wasn't as accepting as everyone else._

_"Riku! No smoking," he ordered._

_I raised an eyebrow. "Sora, I wasn't gonna do it in here if that's what you were worried about."_

_"I know that!" he huffed. "But you're still going shopping with us later, right?"_

_"Yeah," I answered, not quite getting the point._

_"Then no smoking," he commanded._

_"Sora, what does my smoking have to do with us shopping?"_

_His eyes went big as if to say, "Are you serious?" But what he really said was, "I'll have to wait outside the dressing rooms with you, and I am not going to tolerate you smelling like that! I'll gag..." he added at my amused expression. I don't think I'd ever gotten him so worked up on anything before—even when I was hitting on him._

_"Fine, but if I get grumpy, the fault rests entirely on your shoulders," I submitted, sitting back down in my seat._

_"I'd rather have a grumpy Riku than a smelly Riku..." he muttered._

-

We went shopping with Kairi, Namine, and Yuffie--not a good combination, by the way. And I honestly don't know why, but for some reason, our trip to Bath & Body Works that day is the only real stop I remember well.

-

_"What's your favorite smell, Riku?" Sora asked innocently, staring at all the different colors and sizes nd shapes of the many bottles before him._

_"You mean here or in general?" I checked, bringing up a lotion to my face to sniff experimentally._

_He shrugged. "In general, I guess."_

_"Vanilla."_

_"Vanilla?"_

_"Yup." I set the lotion back down. The scent was a bit too strong for me and left my nose burning. Maybe I had it too close to my nose? ...Nah..._

_Sora made a humming noise at this information before turning around to find Kairi and Selphie already in line to buy their soaps (or whatever they decided to get that day). Namine was at a loss of which shampoo she should get, so Sora ended up helping her out._

_When we finally left the store, everyone but me had ended up getting something. Sora hid his in Kairi's bag though; I felt a bit jipped when he wouldn't show me what he bought. Then again, he probably just didn't want to get teased about it. How many guys do you see shop at that place? Not too many... and I'm guessing those pink walls in there had something to do with it..._

-

Come to think of it, I never did find out what he bought that day. Oh well—it probably wasn't very important. Maybe it was for his mom... I never did really ask.

I checked my watch again. Eleven o'clock. An hour after I asked to meet.

He's not coming. I know he's not.

Stepping away from the tree's trunk, I pull my hood up, preparing myself to face the storm on my way home. I didn't drive—it's only a few blocks from the campus, anyway.

My voice speaks, feeling the urge to make my thoughts more solid by talking. It's not like anyone will hear me, anyway—no one's around.

"Why didn't Sora come?" I questioned, my voice a little louder than it should probably be, but I don't really care. No one's around and I'm fairly frustrated—I see no reason why it should matter. Besides, maybe the rain will let up while I'm still under this tree.

"I mean," I continued. "I really was just gonna talk to him. I just want to know why he... why he hates me! Sure, I hit on him, but he didn't seem to mind at first. He should've known I was serious the whole time! And how could he _not_ think I was serious about him? Hell, I gave up smoking for him and I don't even get a "thank you" or something in return!" My eyes were beginning to sting now as I let out my pent up frustration in this rant to no one.

"I never did anything to hurt him or any of his friends! They were becoming my friends, too, you know?! I just don't get it," I stated shakily. Then my emotions took over, knocking me to the ground and forcing these _stupid_ tears out of my eyes _again_! And all for a guy who won't even talk to me!

Abruptly, I feel a weight leaning on my back and around my collapsed body and a voice screaming in my ear, "I'm sorry, Riku! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry!"

But I... I know that voice... I haven't heard it directed at me for a while, but I'd recognize it anywhere.

"S-Sora?" I croaked.

"Yeah, it's me—I'm sorry..." he answered.

"Why a-are you h-here?" I ask, my voice choking on the sobs my body had forced out of me.

"To see you... and to see if you meant everything you'd said before... But I heard every word you said a moment ago, and I believe you! I do! And I'm sorry I've been avoiding you now—really! It's just that... just that... I-I think... I was falling for you, Riku," he whispered. "And I was scared that you... that you'd hurt me..."

"W-wait—_what_?" I gasped.

A little firmer this time, he repeated, "I like you, Riku. And... are you still willing to go out with me?"

His question hung in the air nervously. My lips curved upward on their own—I couldn't stop them even if I'd wanted to. Shifting around, I threw my arms back around him and held him tight. Just to make sure this was real. My face brushed over his shoulder, and my nose nearly drowned in the wonderful scent of vanilla drenching his chocolate hair...

-

I caught a cold the next day.

* * *

Inspiration for this goes to a friend of mine who informed me that most guys love vanilla. Also contributing to the inspiration for this was **Kolie**'s awesome fanfic, "The Walk." (It's Akuroku and completely unrelated to anything in this story at all--except the angst--but it is super good and WAY better than this dumb little thing you read here.) 

Edit: I fixed one of the transitions between the flashbacks. It was bothering me. Oh, and thanks to people made of awesome, the last line stays. :D

Reviews are muchly appreciated! (Especially if you caught any past/present tense issues. v.v;)


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